Unsent Letters by Heather Mark

Dear Garmin,

Zoiks! We sure were excited when we received a Nuvi as a wedding gift. Being the avid travelers my husband and I are, we couldn’t wait to experience the navigation juggernaut you have created. Usually you’re spot on with directions. But last week in Detroit and today in Orlando you took us on a wild goose chase.

Since when are you the purveyors of U-turns? For no apparent reason, Nuvi will tell us to turn in the opposite direction of our destination and then U-turn us back in the right direction. What are you trying to do to us? This isn’t Pin the Tail on the Donkey. We don’t want to be disoriented when we’re driving rental cars in unfamiliar cities. Especially in Detroit. Have you ever been lost in Hamtramck? It’s a bad, bad scene. Just Google “Hamtramck” and “crime” and see what kinds of scary stats pop up.

Anyway, thanks for your attention. No more U-turns, a’ight?

Lost in my own city,

Heather Mark

Dear those who want to sound like techies,

This note will be short and sweet. This is for all you late night informercials, ill informed copywriters and anyone faking their way through sounding technically savvy.

When referring to a web address, there is no need to refer to a slash as a backslash.

Indeed, there are two types of slashes–the forward slash and the back slash. The forward slash is also referred to as “slash”, the “forward” is understood. A forward slash looks like / . A back slash looks like \ .

You’ll notice that web addresses start with http:// . That’s colon-slash-slash, not colon-back slash-back slash.

I hope someone has gained something by reading my humble letter. I simply want to bring the world one step closer to semiotic harmony.

Cheers,

Heather