Unsent Letters by Heather Mark

Dear Florida Democrats,

No, not the voters, I mean the democrat party leaders, wannabes and the DNC. I am so tired of your campaign ads I’m pretty sure I won’t be voting for any of the candidates you are promoting. When I turn on the six o’clock news I don’t get a single pitch for a product or service, just election crap. Don’t believe me?

Tonight during the channel 6 news, in one commercial break we had ads for,
Alan Grayson
Something else relating to your party
An anti McCain ad sponsored by the DNC
No on 2
Thad Altman

The Thad Altman ad is the only republican offering, one in five.

Over at channel 9 we had,
No on 2
Bryan Nelson
Gary Siplin
The DNC ad

In this selection, Bryan Nelson is the only republican. One in four this time.

Are we to assume that by spending this kind of money you will sweep the coveted I4 Corridor? Or are you just running so scared that you feel you need to shove your message down everybody’s throats?

I specifically want to express my concern for Alan Grayson’s 1) lack of spatial perception, and 2) lack of fashion sense. In the Grayson ad, he shows off his fancy briefcase full of $1 million in cash. He then says it would fill up a whole airplane hangar to equal $1 billion dollars. Well, that’s only 1,000 briefcases, Mr. Grayson. Those would have to be really, really big briefcases to fill a hangar. Also, please stop wearing that American flag tie with gray suits. The only people who don’t look like clowns when wearing the American flag tie are pilots, and since you don’t know much about hangars I’m guessing you know even less about airplanes. Since we’re on the topic of public image, you need to hire Rachel Zoe or something. That chick is in need of work and you need an overhaul - make up and all! When I see you on TV I immediately think, Quasimodo, troll under the bridge, O’Doyle from Billy Madison. You’re seriously scary, dude.

So anyway, Dems. I can’t wait till the election is over so I can go back to watching Dan Newlin and Cash for Gold ads. That’ll be sweet.

Your friend,
Heather

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