Unsent Letters by Heather Mark

Dear Bosley Medical Group,

Do you want to know what’s funny? Your commercials. Every time your ads for magical hair tonic air (or whatever hair replacement you’re peddling) I crack up laughing.

You know that first guy in the ad? The one who is talking about how great your products and services are? You remember how he said he was tired of people looking at his bald head before looking at his face?

Hah!

That’s what I say. It’s irony, poetic justice for all those years he spent looking at women’s boobs while he was talking to them. Do you think he ever noticed that the boobs weren’t talking back? I doubt it. But now that the tables are turned he’s all, “Talk to my face, bitches!”

What a loser. He deserves to be bald.

Cheers,

Heather Mark